Side note

Last night I had the chance to talk with a friend who is Algerian about the whole "saying no" thing in Arab culture. He explained it to me in a way that was more in depth than just a way to be hospitable. Because it goes beyond food. My host mom in Morocco gave me her djeleba (a traditional cover up/dress thingy) and in my culture it's polite to refuse, but when I began to refuse her offering me her own djeleba, Rajaa told me, "In Morocco we don't say no to gifts." Simple as that. So I told myself, Welp okay! And tried to be as grateful as my pathetic Arabic and hand gestures were capable of showing. My friend explained to me that in Islam, on Judgement Day, you will be judged based on your generosity. It is sinful to not offer something to someone who doesn't have opportunity to have the same thing. He said that's why in Arabic culture, riches and beautiful things are hidden in the privacy of the home. In beautiful riads, the architecture and artwork is on the inside, as the outside just looks like a stucco wall. Women's beauty is covered and they can only show their hair and skin (traditionally) in the privacy of their home. People eat in enclosed areas so that people who cannot eat are not being made to feel more poor. And the same goes for refusal. I mean if you frankly don't want to eat something, you can say no, but there's a certain way to do it. He said some people will take it badly and some won't mind. But as for offering something to someone, in Arab culture they mean it, they want you to have what they have. When my friend took me out to eat and I wasn't hungry, but had said I'll eat anyways, and then we got there and I was hesitant to eat even though I'd just said I would, he got a little annoyed because it was a little dishonest on my part. Not to any extreme, of course. Just that going back and forth between being polite (by my own culture's standards) and not knowing if I want something or not, etc, that's kind of seen as impolite. It makes a lot more sense now. Refusal is not only a rejection to hospitality but to someone's generosity. I'm glad he explained it to me because now I understand much better and next time I think I won't feel so defensive. I feel like my French is getting in the way, so how I'm explaining this in English is not coming across as I'd like it to but I think you get the picture.

Just a side-note :)