How do I invest in my future?

Just wrote an essay responding to this question for a scholarship. I don't even know how much the scholarship is for but my mom sent it to me saying, I know you like to write, go for it! So really I just did it for the pleasure of writing something that makes me think.

Here's what I wrote...


(I kind of exaggerated when I said I learned Italian.... but hey I'm not so far from it ;))


My future is their future. My future is hers, and his, and yours. My future is our future. 

Our futures affect each other. How you behave and make decisions affects everyone around you, and the result can be negative, but it can also be positive. Everything is connected. 

So when I ask myself "How do I invest in my future?" I am really asking myself, "How can I invest in my own future so that it positively affects everyone else's?"

For me, investing in everyone means investing in the world and pursuing the discovery of the world's cultures. Disciplines such as Intercultural Communication, Inter-religious Communication, Anthropology, International Relations or Politics, and more, are underrated. With the rising impacts of globalization within the economy, international conflicts, the exchange of cultures and the importance of foreign languages, comprehension between cultures is extremely important. To invest in my future and that of everyone else's in the world, I have undertaken the goal of studying multiple languages (French, Arabic, and Italian) and international relations (politics, anthropology, etc.) to better understand those from different cultures and political contexts than my own. My hope is that in better understanding what I do not initially understand, I can spread my knowledge and help others especially at my age understand.

My inspiration in doing so has recently come from what I've learned about Islam and Arab cultures. This year I spent two weeks in Morocco and have studied North-African culture and its influence in France, particularly Marseille. The abrupt meeting of two cultures, particularly between Islamic and Catholic values, often results in conflict and misunderstanding. Even more recently, after the Boston bombing, for which the culprits ended up being Muslim, I noticed many politically incorrect statements posted on social networking websites such as Facebook and Twitter. Several of the comments were confusing the definitions of "Islamic" and "Islamist". There is a big difference. It's things like this that motivate me to study different cultures and languages to better understand current world events, political decisions, cultural differences, and different people in general. I want to understand the difference between two definitions such as "Islamic" and "Islamist," I want to know what the real meaning of alterity (or otherness) and empathy is and perpetuate their relevance, and I want to know how to not make culturally and politically incorrect statements like those on the internet.

In learning foreign languages and studying different cultures and politics, and moreover, becoming linguistically and culturally fluent, you learn so much about yourself and your own culture. It causes you to reflect and question what you thought you always knew. The result is always positive because you grow, you share what you know and are learning and it changes how you look at things. This has been my experience in studying abroad this year, and it has motivated me to deepen my understanding of even more cultures in my future. I will travel more, engage in more international political and cultural contexts, aim to work in international governmental and non-governmental environments, and ideally I would love to teach foreign language in my future. Learning foreign languages is just the beginning of cultural discovery, and one of the most fulfilling in my opinion. I have a passion for the world and I'd love to share it with students through teaching language. But that is just one piece of the puzzle. In the big picture, my investment in my future is all-encompassing of all that is intercultural and with the goal of understanding what I don't understand.

If I can spread my knowledge and the importance of understanding others and what is different, I am doing something good. If I can do that, I am investing in my future, and everyone else's. 

Past two weekends...

In short, the past two weekends I have:

1. Had a party at ma crib

2. Fallen down the stairs at Little Temple in front of everyone... not my finest moment

3. Lost my camera and refound it... thank baby Jesus

4. Gone to l'Assom and dressed up in American theme

5. Met soccer players from the Olympique de Marseille, level 2 team, and lots of other new people recently!

6. Gone on a day long motorcycle ride to la Ciotat... we went really, really fast and I felt like I was on a Top Gear episode :D Another check off the Marseille bucket list!!!

7. Gone to the beach

8. Gone dancing at Barberousse... it'd been awhile! 

I think that's the gist of it.... :) Basically the past two weekends have been fantastic! 

Also this song is tha business. "Breeze" - XXYYXX

Food for Thought

Silence is... sexy? That ain't right... "UN-MEMORIZING THE “SILENCE IS SEXY” DATE SCRIPT"

I think as a young woman it's appropriate to share this link ^^^ To encourage other young women and young men to start thinking differently about how they approach intimate situations.It's important for us, for our future children, etc. Take the time to read it, and even if some of it is already obvious to you, hopefully you'll get something out of it.

As I'm in the "country of love" perhaps it's finally time to talk about love. Or, rather, dating and male-female relations in France. From what I've observed and experienced...

1. It's easier to have guy friends (personally). Guys and girls together hang out in groups a lot more in France. 
2. When it comes to seduction or "wooing" a woman, there is certain language you use, just like in the US but better. I'd give examples but if you don't speak French it's harder to understand why it's better :P But ladies, just imagine a handsome guy speaking sweet nothings in your ear in French... that's enough of a reason! :P
3. Men talk more openly to women in the streets... yes that's a euphemism to say men cat call. Yep it happens to every woman at some point. It's not always about the beauty, it's about your "essence." If you seem like a confident, interesting girl, you will get attention. And for them, it's not always about the actual result- getting a number or a smile, etc. It is kind of, cause it's like a game, they're testing you. But that's why it's harmless. I mean there are some real assholes, too. Some guys practically devour you with their eyes. You walk past them and they look right at you, like into your soul, and you can't crack and look at them even if just to glare, because then they've won and you won't shake em off haha. A few times it's happened to me where if a guy says "Eh t'es charmante!" (Oh you're charming!) or something along those lines and I don't respond, he'll say "Ben tu peux pas me dire merci hein?" (Ohh not even gonna say thank you, huh?) to antagonize me. But most of the time it's just like a gentle, "Bonjour mademoiselle" or "Salut, t'es vraiment belle.." And you tuck it in your pocket and keep it to yourself, really just little compliments that put a pep in your step on your way to class :) That's how it is for me anyways. 
 4. Most French men are raised to be extremely respectful towards women. That being said, some will argue that the gender equality isn't at the level where it should be, even today...
5. If a guy likes you, he'll not hide it and he'll be open about wanting to spend time with you. There's a seduction game but it's not so secretive like in the US. For example, PDA is rampant haha. People make out/get touchy in public ALL THE TIME, everywhere, at almost any age...
6. Depending on the context, once you kiss, it's considered that you're more or less "together." Maybe not officially, but that it is definitely heading in that direction. And whereas in the US it takes sometimes months before people start dating (the courting period, if you will, is longer), in France, if you're interested and are looking for a relationship, there's not a long wait or "testing of the waters" haha. 
7. Much more openness about each other's expectations/much more open communication. 

All that from my observation/experience/etc. Perhaps I'm wrong or off on some things. Just my opinions. 

My friend Mary and I were talking about love, liking people and dating, etc. And she said something that really spoke to me. Actually, she's a smart girl and says a lot of things that make me think, so I asked if I could share what she said. Luckily she said yes! If everyone thought this way... the world would be a better place!

"Je n'ai pas peur de montrer que j'ai des sentiments pour quelqu'un parce qu'au moins ca veut dire que j'ai assez d'amour que je peux le partager et le donner a quelqu'un. A la fin de la journee, j'aurais ajoute plus de l'amour au monde et pas de la haine. C'est stupide d'avoir honte de dire que vous aimez quelqu'un parce que donner l'amour a quelqu'un, ca rend le monde plus beau. Meme si le sentiment n'est pas reciproque, il y a pas de mal, c'est comme un compliment.... Tu ne peux que gagner en disant la verite." 

En anglais:

"I'm not afraid to show that I have feelings for someone because at least that means I have enough love to share and to give to someone. At the end of the day, I will have added more love to the world, not hate. It's stupid to be ashamed or afraid to say that you love someone because giving love to someone makes the world more beautiful. Even if the feeling isn't reciprocated, there is no harm, it's like a compliment... You can only win in being honest! 

That being said, the same friend has also said this: 

"On ne peut pas tomber en amour tout seul. Le vrai amour est reciproque." 

"You can't fall in love all alone. True love is mutual." 

I find both statements to be true. You can have love for someone and share it with them, give it to them. If they don't love you back, that doesn't make your love for them any less significant. It simply means you're both not love with each other. It's different. You'll KNOW when it's "true love" when the other person feels the same way. I guess since I've never been in this kind of romantic situation I can really say it's easy to know or feel. But I'm hoping I'll know when it happens! 

Why do I feel the need to talk about "love" on my travel blog? My first excuse is because everyone asks me about the "French boys"  since I'm in the "country of love" and if I've found my French husband yet. Nope, not yet. Still on the hunt ;) Don't worry, it's only a matter of time. HA kidding (kind of... ) 

My second excuse is because I've realized how many of us girls get wrapped up in the fairy tale of love and the perfect man (or woman I suppose!), and I just feel an urge to preach my philosophy. I've done a bit (or a lot) of reflecting and I've come to a conclusion. The reality is, those things don't exist. We are human and humans aren't perfect therefore love cannot be perfect. It's perfect in it's imperfection, perhaps. But there are so many different kinds of love and I've realized that in living here. There's old love, young love, homosexual love, heterosexual love, friend love, romantic love, shared love (more than one girlfriend/boyfriend) and at EVERY age whether we're 15, 33, 49,67, it doesn't matter- love will always be complicated. My host mom is 52, divorced for 5 years, and has a more complicated love life than I do! Single men in their fifties are no more sure of what they want (ok, exaggeration but still) than single men in their twenties haha! 

Love is meant to be simple but our humanness complicates it- men and women don't understand each other very well sometimes and we often don't know what we want or we always seem to want different things, but we can't get enough of each other! I wish for my fellow females that we learn to accept this fact, that love will never be simple, and that we shouldn't have such high expectations for ourselves and for those we like. What's important is that we're happy with who WE are as individuals (there's my American individuality expressing itself lol) without a significant other attached. How can we love and respect someone else with all our being if we don't love and respect ourselves with the same intensity? Our (non-greedy and non-self-interested) self-satisfaction and identity as individual women  (and that goes for men too) should be our first priority, and then when we are happy with ourselves, we can share the love we have to give with someone who deserves it. 

I am not alone when I say that I have been through some rough times in my "love endeavors." But when I look back, if I didn't like something, I could have ended it right then. But did I? No. So in the end, I put myself through something I didn't need to. Sure things happen that we can't control. But we have the power to change things we don't like. So the next time you complain about a guy or girl who did this or that to you, think about what it was that he or she did and whether or not you could have walked away from it. Surely a large portion of you will realize you allowed what ever that disagreeable thing was continue and you probably wish you tapped into your self-confidence, made a decision to not waste your time and move on.

I'm not saying it's easy, I'm just saying, there are people who deserve your love and people who don't. That being said, just because someone doesn't LOVE you back, doesn't mean they don't deserve your love. It's about respect. Love takes time (because it's complicated), but it's precious. And there's no shame in it. But if someone does something to hurt you, or doesn't love you back, it doesn't mean that person never deserves love. We all do,we're human. Like Mary said, it's better to put love into the world than hate. Little acts, such as taking out revenge on someone or treating someone badly because they treated you badly.. that is a vicious cycle. Maybe you don't realize the harm it does in the long run, but if you look back later in life and realize all the things you did because you chose the hateful path instead of the loving one, you'll realize it only created more hate. Kill with kindness, if you will. I could preach tons of little sayings and philosophies all night long. But really they all come back down to the same root: "Love is all you need." Thank you to the Beatles for that timeless quote :)

I have met so many people here in France and each person whether they know it or not has helped me learn a lot about myself. I told myself this year would be about me and I would not get wrapped up in romance. Sure, I've gone on dates and had little relationships and almost-boyfriends, if you will, - Hell I'm studying abroad in France I'd be stupid to not take advantage of the beautiful eye candy here right?! ;) but I have done a pretty good job sticking to my guns. It feels good, and I have to admit I'm afraid to lose this sense of self-confidence when I go back to Linfield. Linfield is a great place, but my eyes have been opened to bigger and better things, simply because I've lived outside of the tiny college, "bubble" effect for almost a year now. My friends here, French and American alike, have helped me understand what self-respect means. I will forever be grateful for that. I left Linfield at the end of sophomore year realizing I'd lost a sense of who I was, and I don't want to go back to that. Thank God I have my passion for French because that has been a continuous thread in my life that has only brought me good things -guiding me in the right direction and keeping me moving forward- including my life here in Marseille, where I'm happier than ever. I am blessed to have wonderful family and friends to go back to in Washougal, McMinnville, and elsewhere. When I go back and have to leave this wonderful place, they will be my priority. Myself included. Just like here... And if someone comes along who's first priority is to love and respect themselves and wants to respect me as a person and as a young woman, and maybe one day love me, they will become my priority, too. 

I've never felt vulnerable posting something before, but this post is kind of like an open diary. Maybe some of you will find it too cheesy, too preachy, too cliche, too personal or too deep for comfort... But hey, I'm really cheesy (if you know me you love me for my cheesy humor which I no doubt inherited from my dad HA), sometimes really preachy and I'll admit it haha, and I like deep subjects and I clearly have no issues talking about myself, hahaha. So there you go, take it or leave it.