I also found a journal that I had written while I was in Montpellier two years ago. I was a wise one even two years ago! At least... in regards to my passion (French). I wrote something along the lines of:
"I am just so happy here, sure it's easy to be happy when you're on vacation in a foreign country. But it's hard being in a new culture. Despite that, I just feel different... I feel... good. All the time. A future in France is exactly what I want, but it's intimidating; a new culture that I have to figure out... How would I even find a job, or an apartment? I don't know how any of that works. But I must make baby steps before I even think about that yet. It takes time, and I will figure it all out, I just need to be patient."
Damn. An 18 year old wrote that? I mean not to toot my own horn or anything but I guess reading that gave me a sense of calm. It's like my 18 year old self wrote that for my 20 year old self. And I guess I'm fulfilling my own prophecy. It's just crazy. I remember having a mental chat with myself when I was a junior in high school about what I wanted to do with my life. You know, high school teachers are often asking you that, and I guess I never felt the pressure to know but I was just thinking about it. It used to be teaching, then photography, then teaching, the psychology... then I thought, OH. I'm really good at French. I've always loved languages... and I really love French. UMMM DUH. Why don't I just pursue that?! It was like a legit AH-HAH moment, like my subconscious knew all along and took a sigh of relief once I finally realized it. Everything suddenly made sense... It sounds cliché but it's so true. I've known my passion, my calling ever since. Now, I still don't know what my career will be, but I know what I'm passionate about and that is a good enough start I think. Since college I've also discovered other things I'm passionate about, even if French will always be number one. Politics, for example. Could discuss/argue politics for daysssss. Same with anthropology. Love learning about the world and other cultures..
Long story short...... The fact that I'm moving to France for 10 months tomorrow, is simply proof that ever since that day junior year of high school... I've known deep down that this would be my future. And I'm right. That feels good. It's as if everything is all coming together...
Tonight, I had a quick chat with my friend Jenn. She spent a semester in Marseille, and I thought she might know something more than I did about my host mom, Marie. She happened to know who she was as a fellow classmate had the same host mom I do, and apparently she's totally awesome and I'm going to love her. That was a huge relief! And it only amped up my excitement even more. I don't think I can even comprehend how good of a time I'm going to have :)
I also bought gifts for my host mom today. A table runner, homemade soap, Oregonian Smith Tea, and raspberry-pepper jam (It's... interesting, but good). All from a little boutique by my house!
Tomorrow I plan on getting up early so I have the whole morning to relax (and finish packing :P) with my family. We'll leave early for the airport so we can take our time saying goodbye. It's going to be hard, especially for my mom and I. But I know that time will pass quickly and they will come see me in December.
I don't even know how I will sleep tonight!
Bises,
Katherine
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